January 29, 2023

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More Clerihews [with thanks to Rick Winston]

In 1995, Henry Rathvon and Emily Cox conducted a Clerihew Challenge, and Rick Winston made a copy of the results:

<<< ***Clerihews results in the news***

Mr Rathvon and Mrs Cox
Don’t fit in a convenient box.
They urge you to grow Ogden Nashish
For competitions that are more addicting than hash.

This is the opinion of candidate RPhill5136, whose views are expressed in Clerihew style above. The Clerihew, that odd little verse form invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley 100 years ago, proved wonderfully fruitful in the context of the 1990s. But it also proved quite challenging as its staggered rhythms required an artful touch to evoke the right comic twang. Candidate Glemward reflected:

Why choose
how much cuter
Are things that rhyme in the usual kind of meter!

And VCRogers, reflecting on the mess we pun players made, concluded:

EC Bentley
Didn’t go gently
In this good night
But after that he could!

Suffice it to say your clerical humor – from subtle to sledgehammer – gave us plenty of laughs. We will do another one of these Clerihew festivals in a future competition. Meanwhile, our favorite verses are listed below, topped by three hilarious winners. (Contestant Sean Med quipped, “Could the award for this contest be considered a ‘Hew Scholarship’?”) Each of our winners will receive 5 free hours of AOL plus a book of their choice from Atlantic’s online bookstore. Congratulations Ravensegg, Cruciver and JebMar!

***The Clerihew Winners***

General Shalikashvili–
Now I’m really asking you.
With a name like that
Shouldn’t he be wearing a much larger hat? (Ravensegg)

The Kennedys
Are used to having all the amenities.
Her wealth is so great that he even begs
Schwarzeneggers. (Cruiser)

Peter McNeley
had a lot. He
Fighted Tyson from the deck and
Thousands made per second. (JebMar)

Five of the runners-up:

Dorothy Gisch
Choked on a fish
By the cotillon
Embarrassing Lilian. (G8ly)

Heinrich Kissinger
Covets Kim Basinger.
If she were his wife
He would be Kissinger now. (G8ly)

Jean-Paul Sartre
despised Descartes
Because of his persistence
About meaningful existence. (G8ly)

Warren Beatty
Loved to this day, he
He fooled around with every girl
Except for Shirley, of course. (StefSpad)

Elizabeth Taylor
Dieting constantly to look more frail.
“Although sometimes I’m chubby”
She says, “I’m never without a new husband.” (Epiths)